


since hearts get broken

by kotobukibento



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi isn’t the best eater, Akaashi’s Anxiety, Angst, Konoha’s Thoughts, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25986667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotobukibento/pseuds/kotobukibento
Summary: He always wished he was as good as Bokuto. To be noticed by the setter of Fukurodani even if it was just the ball thrown his way. Even as an adult, all he wanted was Akaashi’s attention on him.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Konoha Akinori, mentioned Sarukui Yamato/Komi Haruki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan fiction in a few years so feel free to leave good and bad reviews.

His fingers. Akinori always watched how Keiji touched his fingers when he was nervous, when his thoughts became too much. How he thought about holding them close to him. He had watched his kouhai since he had joined the Fukurodani team. He felt his heart race every time he heard ‘Konoha-san’ from his kouhai’s lips, but he knew the dark haired male didn’t return his feelings. He had watched the younger become closer and closer with who’d become the team’s captain. He couldn’t blame Akaashi, Bokuto was amazing after all. A bit childish, but he could play volleyball, meanwhile what was he? What was Konoha Akinori no matter how hard he tried? He was called the jack of all trades, but he wasn’t the ace like Bokuto, great at defence like Komi, a strong server like Sarukui or a tough blocker like Washio. He only had a small piece in everyone’s strengths. He wondered if he was as good as the other’s if Akaashi would notice him more, set for him, anything.

The blonde remembered running down the halls with a tablet in hand, the latest volleyball match saved for him and Akaashi to study. Most of the time an “okay” or “let’s watch it” would leave the setters lips, always causing Konoha’s heart to race, but he’d always feel his blood run cold when he’d hear “apologise, I cannot today. Bokuto wants me for practice”. It was always Bokuto wasn’t it? The star of Fukurodani. Why did it have to be this hard to get the attention of someone you liked?

Now he was an adult, sitting at a sports bar with Sarukui Yamato and Komi Haruki. He didn’t know how it was so easy for them to once have feelings for each other and still be friends.  
“So you didn’t go to the match when Akaashi invited you?”  
Ah, that. He wished he would have said yes, but he knew the whole time Akaashi would be watching Bokuto. He knew by now they had to be dating.  
“I would have rathered stay with you guys”  
“No way!” A booming laugh escaped from the shortest of the trio, causing Sarukui to wince from the loudness. “Who’d give up the smell of a clean gym, the atmosphere, the pretty girls-“  
“Komi, if he didn’t want to go, then he didn’t”

At that moment, Akinori was thankful for the taller. Even if it was the smallest thing, it was always the quickest way to shut up Komi. He wondered sometimes if the pair  
knew about how he felt towards Akaash. If they knew how hard he tried to be noticed, to be unique in his own right. His gaze moved to the screen, feeling melancholy fill him as the bickering next to him continued, watching their former captain as he took a large mouthful of his beer, wondering if he drank enough if he’d forget the feeling that had been building inside of him.

About a week later, he finally saw Akaashi again. The dark hair and beautiful eyes that were now mostly hidden behind glasses. Akinori always enjoyed when the other had time away from work, from supporting Bokuto. He knew how busy Akaashi could be, how crazy work was for him. Sometimes he’d visit just to make sure his kouhai ate since he knew sometimes food would slip from his mind. It worried him and made him wonder how many times the younger had gone without eating. He always made sure when they’d meet it would be somewhere that Akaashi would have a meal. 

“So how’s work?” He started, staring at the male sitting across from him. He didn’t mind that the other was looking at the menu instead of at him. It allowed his eyes to study his expression, his fingers and his eyes. “Has it been busy?”  
“To an extent. My projects have been getting bigger” His voice was like angels singing. The blonde wished he could hear it more and more.  
“Really? What’s the project on this time?”  
“Another of Tenma-san’s writings. I’ve been trusted to be his main editor which is a first for me…” He watched the anxiety build on his kouhai’s face, how his fingers tightened on the menu. He wished he could lean over and take his hands into his own.  
“Well, I’m always up to visiting you and make sure you don’t end up stressing out too much.” Akinori joked, but it did cause a small smile to appear from the man across from him.  
“I would appreciate that, Konoha-san”

Just to see the smile on Akaashi’s face was enough for him. He would be happy to just support him and make sure that he was healthy. To come into his workplace and make sure that the other was still alive. He was second best, he knew that. He always had been.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wished he was able to find out what it was he had done wrong. What caused to Konoha to be upset with him.

Strategy. It was Akaashi’s strong suit. To work out where the ball was going to go before shooting it off to whoever had the least amount of blockers or who had the strongest spike. That was his position in Fukurodani. To plan where the ball would be placed. He knew his gaze would go towards the team captain, but he sometimes wished it would have gone somewhere else. This was for the better of the team.

He remembered sign ups for volleyball, first meeting his senpai who was slightly shorter than him. Golden hair and fox like eyes, seeming to be somewhat devious, cunning. Akinori Konoha. The name he’d learn belonged to the other. The senpai who was able to put himself into every position. To set if needed, to spike, to block, to defend, to serve. He understood the nickname given to him as the Jack of All Trades. 

As Keiji moved to the position of setter, he learnt everyone’s strengths and weaknesses, to build a strategy. Strategies he enjoyed creating whenever the shorter male would call for him down the hallways, to watch a volleyball match and plan how to use different techniques for the team. The dark haired male noticed in these conversations, rarely ever would his senpai bring up himself, his strengths in positions that would have been perfect for him. Whenever he’d bring it up, the blonde would just laugh in disagreement. Some mornings, he’d have to offer another time. Even if he wanted to spend all of his time with Akinori, he couldn’t. He still had to practice with other members, make sure the plans in his mind would work. To make sure they’d be able to play another match together.

Yet, the final match came and all the third years left. He no longer had his captain, Bokuto to spend his time with or the team. Even worse is he got to see Konoha even less than before. 

Years went on and he continued to support his former teammates, Bokuto and Washio with official matches, Komi’s acting works and to whatever matches he was able to get out of Konoha. He, much like Sarukui, had a boring job, not one he could really be supported in, but one that made him anxious. 

Being an editor wasn’t easy. Sometimes the projects would feel like they were too big for him. Food and sleep would become a secondary requirement as his anxiety would become worse and worse as the project’s deadline came closer and closer. Yet, sometimes the golden haired male would come in, drop a bag of food and water onto his desk before finding a seat to steal and sit beside him. Akaashi treasured this. To be beside him like this, to listen to all the stories the other would tell him while he ate. 

But the ticket situation soon occurred. Bokuto’s official match with the Black Jackals. After getting tickets, he sent a text to Akinori, thinking he’d want to see his former captain play, but the response was strange and longer than their normal messages. Full of excuses of why he was unavailable that day…. Akaashi wonders if he had done something wrong. 

That thought continued to run through his head. While at home, while at work, everywhere. _Stupid, stupid_ continued to run through his mind as he found the smallest reasons he could find to why the older was upset with him. Yet he went to Sendai and invited the person he edited for the most, Udia Tenma. He watched the match without Akinori there with him. He also let himself enjoy the moment, the environment of the room.

Coming home, it went back down quickly, back to worrying about what he had done to upset his senpai. He waited and waited to hear from Akinori, knowing that if he messaged the other first, he could be seen as some annoyance, that he could make this all worse. No visits into his workplace, not a text, nothing. Had inviting him really done something so bad? Then he got a casual lunch date text from the blonde. 

When he got to the small ramen shop, he knew he should have asked, to find out what he had done to upset the other, but the conversation never went there. It was just a joyful lunch where there were promises for Konoha to visit him more, to make sure Keiji had eaten and was rested enough that he could focus on his work.

The thought of if he had done something was still nagging at the back of Akaashi’s mind, even if everything seemed to be alright between them again. The blonde sat on the couch of Keiji’s apartment, watching the television after dinner. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep this in.  
“What did I do?” He asked quietly, his gaze not meeting Akinori’s as he turned to stare.  
“What do you mean?”  
“When I asked if you wanted to see the Black Jackals match. You seemed… upset?”

From that question, silence filled the room. The darker haired male looked up to see the look of thought that had filled Konoha’s face, trying to figure out what words would have been the best to use. “I wasn’t upset.”  
“I apologise for not believing you… and for whatever I did.”  
“Akaashi, it’s not like that-“  
“Please just tell me.”

It wasn’t often that sternness would come out of Akaashi when it came to the blonde and that showed by the look of shock that appeared from both of them. The air was thick as the silence came back into the room. The darker haired male looked down before letting out a sigh. “I apologise-”  
“I didn’t want to see the way you look at him.”

A look of confusion spread across Keiji’s face. What did Akinori mean by that? Yet the fear on Akinori’s face grew. Like he had ruined everything between them. Might as well keep going. “You look at Bokuto with such admiration and I want that. I want you to look at me like that… I want you to look at me differently from everyone else, but I know that’s not what’s going to happen. That you don’t feel that way about me-“

Silence went through the room again as the blonde was cut off, unable to speak from the feeling of the darker haired male’s lips against his own. It took a few moments for this to process in the shorter male’s mind before kissing him back. The one person he wanted to be looked at differently by, was the one who was kissing him. The one who was worried their friendship had ended. All he wanted was to stay like this, lips pressing against Akaashi’s with the confirmation that the feelings were mutual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise about how short this is, but I hope everyone enjoyed it!
> 
> song listened to while writing https://open.spotify.com/track/45S5WTQEGOB1VHr1Q4FuPl?si=JcgCsB2TRhisT7JnbORjtg


End file.
